Portland Trail Blazers to hang a giant "c..."/> Portland Trail Blazers to hang a giant "c..."/>

The Portland Trail Blazers desperately need a Cody Zeller replacement

Cody Zeller, Luke Kennard, Norman Powell, Portland Trail Blazers, Los Angeles Clippers (Photo by Soobum Im/Getty Images)
Cody Zeller, Luke Kennard, Norman Powell, Portland Trail Blazers, Los Angeles Clippers (Photo by Soobum Im/Getty Images) /
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With Cody Zeller’s latest injury, perhaps it’s time for the Portland Trail Blazers to hang a giant “center wanted” sign on the Moda Center. Here is what the job description could and should possibly say.

“Help wanted! An NBA-ready big needed. Must be at least 6’10” or so, 240-lbs and strong. You must be physical, willing to be pushed around, and willing to push and shove back on occasion. You must not be afraid of, a Timberwolf named Karl Anthony Towns, or a Denver Nugget named Nikola Jokić. You especially must not be injury prone, as this is the most required qualification for this position. If you have some sort of injury in your past, you may apply, so long as it has not been anything that significant. Interested? Please contact Jusuf Nurkić, who you will be a backup to, or Interim General Manager Joe Cronin. Hurry and apply, we need you soon.”

Who should apply and send in their resume?

Jusuf Nurkic, CJ McCollum, Portland Trail Blazers
Jusuf Nurkic, CJ McCollum, Portland Trail Blazers (Photo by Steph Chambers/Getty Images) /

The Portland Trail Blazers desperately need a backup center

Kenneth Faried:
Nicknamed the “Manimal”, 6’8, 227 pounds. Doesn’t necessarily meet the height and weight requirements, but the former 2011 first-round draft pick could get the job done. He was on the Blazers’ 2021 Summer League roster, where he averaged 5.7 points and 8.3 rebounds. Currently, Faried is playing for the Grand Rapids Gold of the NBA G League, where he is averaging 12.2 points and 9.3 rebounds per game.

Marc Gasol
The brother of one time Blazer Pau Gasol. The former three-time All-Star and 2013 Defensive Player of the year is currently playing for Basquet Girona, a professional team in Spain. The 36-year-old, 6’11 Gasol reportedly could have an interest in returning to the NBA and is not closing that door.

Enes Kanter Freedom:
Let’s bring back Freedom for the third time. After all, Portland signed and traded Steve Blake countless times. Maybe trading the expiring contract to Cody Zeller, who is currently out for 8-10 weeks after knee surgery and a future second-round draft pick is enough to entice Boston’s Brad Stevens.

Portland is in desperate need of a backup to Nurkic. Trendon Watford doesn’t yet seem ready for major minutes and is probably best off suiting up at power forward. Larry Nance Jr. can play both center and power forward but is also dealing with an injury.