What would the Portland Trail Blazers look like as a football team?

Oregon may not boast its own football team this season, but that won’t stop us from dreaming up a scenario where the Portland Trail Blazers storm the gridiron.

Boys and girls, Sunday football is back on the menu! Instead of pretending you’re interested in mid-summer basketball news on the day of the NFL’s inaugural opening weekend and masking our tears over the fact Oregon still does not have a professional football franchise, let’s play a little game. What would the Portland Trail Blazers look like if they formed their very own football team?

Damian Lillard – Quarterback

Everyone knows quarterback is the most important position in football. Everyone also knows Damian Lillard is the best player on the Portland Trail Blazers. Without him, this team would be dead in the water. He calls the shots around here, and for good reason — their success is almost entirely predicated on Dame’s ability to step up to the spotlight and perform well under pressure. I’m sure all NFL quarterbacks could relate to that sentiment in some form, considering they actually get paid the big bucks to avoid pressure from opposing defenses.

Rodney Hood – Running Back

Although they may not seen as the highly vaunted difference makers they once were any more, there’s no denying the impact a great running back can have on a team with their other pieces in place to help him succeed. Sound sort of familiar right? Rodney Hood was a seemingly small addition that eventually rounded out the offense and made a huge impact on the Portland Trail Blazers as a whole. None of this would have been possible without one another, so Hood made the smart decision and re-signed with Portland, even taking a pay cut in the process.

CJ McCollum – Wide Receiver

Be honest, there isn’t many things in professional sports quite as satisfying as watching a quarterback make a connection way downfield to his favorite receiver. It’s a story you’ve seen time and time again, but just like peanut butter and jelly — it never gets old. Now that you’ve got that vivid imagery in your mind, isn’t that exactly how you feel watching Dame and CJ McCollum rip opposing defenses to shreds? CJ’s got enough speed to burn his opponents and could still make the same sharp cuts in his routes that make his mid-range game so deadly in the NBA.

Jusuf Nurkic – Center

We’re going to ignore the fact that Jusuf Nurkic quite literally  already plays the center position in the NBA, and focus on his impact on the Blazers. Nurkic is also the heart of this franchise and the proverbial center of everything to do with it. On the court, he’s counted on to anchor the paint and provide a versatile offensive threat to perfectly complement Portland’s stars. Off the court, he’s every Blazer’s best friend and has a special connection with Dame that only a quarterback could share with his center.

Zach Collins – Middle Linebacker

Sorry Al-Farouq Aminu, you’re gonna have to vacate this spot to the next man up after securing that bag in Orlando. Zach Collins will be the guy expected to step up this year and control the middle of the court, making smart plays on both ends of the court and always finding a way to be at the right place at the right time. Although he’ll never have the flashiest highlights, he will fill an integral hole for the team and be a behind-the-scenes playmaker on any given night.

Hassan Whiteside – Defensive Lineman

The Defensive Linemen of the NFL are some of the biggest, scariest dudes on the planet. When it comes to raw physique, you’d be hard pressed to find a man more terrifying than Hassan Whiteside. Standing 7-feet tall and weighing in at 265 pounds, Whiteside has the frame to bear down on any opponent. As a former NBA block champion, Hassan just belongs on the defensive end of things. Good luck stopping this athletic specimen from breaking down your doors and sacking your quarterbacks in the night.

Nassir Little – Cornerback/Safety

This is yet another category that could have gone to a former Blazer had he remained with the team, but thankfully Moe Harkless has a pretty promising successor lined up. In football, it’s the duty of the cornerbacks and safeties in the secondary to lock down the dynamic playmakers of the opposing teams offense. Nassir Little has the defensive intangibles to become that ball hawk the Blazers need on the court. And hey, it’s pretty convenient that one of the best safeties in the entire NFL recently slipped down draft boards, just like Nassir.

Pau Gasol – Head Coach

Also, we’d love to have Terry Stotts coaching the Portland Trail Blazers in any sports — whether that be basketball, football or even beach volleyball — but if we’re gonna stick to our rules here, Pau Gasol has to be the main for the job. Even if you ignore his experience, accolades, and wealth of basketball knowledge, you have to admit Pau would look pretty sick mic’d up with a visor on.