3 Spooky Speculations about the Portland Trail Blazers

BOSTON, MA - APRIL 11: Nik Stauskas #2 of the Brooklyn Nets looks on during a game against the Boston Celtics at TD Garden on April 11, 2018 in Boston, Massachusetts. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Adam Glanzman/Getty Images)
BOSTON, MA - APRIL 11: Nik Stauskas #2 of the Brooklyn Nets looks on during a game against the Boston Celtics at TD Garden on April 11, 2018 in Boston, Massachusetts. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Adam Glanzman/Getty Images)
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Portland Trail Blazers
Portland Trail Blazers CJ McCollum (Photo by Sean Gardner/Getty Images)

It’s Halloween today, so I tried to get into the spirit. Here are three spooky speculations about the Portland Trail Blazers.

Happy Halloween! On this very spooky day, the children will trick-or-treat in a wonderland of costumes. Teens will try to invite their dates to horror movies. More well-adjusted people might handout candy with their families.

But me, I like to scare myself on Halloween. And there’s no terror quite like the one associated with laying up all night thinking about the Portland Trail Blazers. It’s absolutely exhilarating.

Some thoughts are just facts that pound through my head, like the first speculation.

Others are ones that remind me I need to get out more, like the second.

And others are gross judgements based on seven game sample sizes, like the last one.

What makes these ideas spooky? Well, they’re each scary for their own reason – because if it came true, the Blazers will have a rocky season; because if it was true, who’s next?; because if it will be true, then why did we just pay him a 4-year/$48 million contract?

Some of this may not make sense. But I promise, I’m not just rambling. It will all become clear in due time.

So, without any further ado, let’s dive into my three spooky speculations about the Portland Trail Blazers: