Basketball fans have been joking for years about how David Stern always finds new ways to..."/> Basketball fans have been joking for years about how David Stern always finds new ways to..."/> Basketball fans have been joking for years about how David Stern always finds new ways to..."/>

The Candace Parker fight…

facebooktwitterreddit

Basketball fans have been joking for years about how David Stern always finds new ways to shove the WNBA down our throats. Whether it was by attaching them to NBA teams, stuffing them into All-Star Weekend or subtle advertisements during games. It’s always there.

Who knew the WNBA would have it’s own version of the ‘Malice at the Palace’

(Ok…so it was nowhere near that but on the WNBA scale of fights this was at least a 9. Mainly because there haven’t been that many. Now…if this had happened tonight we’d have a huge deal. On the catfight scale….about a 4. You could see better on Flavor of Love…or Rock of Love….or any of those VH1 shows. This was no Pumkin/New York. It was however still hilarious.)

Now…bear in mind I just caught wind of this at about 1:52 AM pacific time after leaving ‘The Dark Knight’ (which by the way….damn). If you haven’t heard (I’m pretty sure you haven’t) with 5 seconds left in a nationally televised game between the Los Angeles Sparks and the Detroit Shock…there was a “brawl”. Four players were ejected. At the center of the storm were Sparks star and the WNBA’s last hope for a star Candace Parker and Detroit’s Pinette Pierson. Video of the “brawl” is here.

Now I said “brawl” because the actual fight lasted about .5 seconds. Take a look for yourself….maybe one punch was thrown (by Parker). Otherwise a lot of people were playing peacemaker, a couple were jumping up and down acting like they were trying to get to people and others were clueless. Pretty much what you’re likely to see from a skirmish during a pickup game at the rec center. And you all know you’ve seen at least one of these where absolutely nothing happens.

Now what makes this hilarious and completely out of the ordinary are the following.

  1. This took place with 5 seconds left in the game. Five. The game was over.
  2. Rick Mahorn, Bill Laimbeer and Michael Cooper were trying to hold a bunch of women back from fighting each other.
  3. A man shoved a woman backwards. Yes…trying to play peacemaker, big Rick Mahorn shoved Lisa Leslie from half court to darn near the opposite free throw line. Yes she landed right on her but. And yes I laughed.
  4. A player strikes a coach from behind. In response to Mahorn shoving Lisa Leslie, Delisha Milton-Jones actually hit him in the back of the head. What made that funnier was that other Sparks teammates semi-rushed and tried to get a shot in. Even funnier: she hit him in the same way that Fred Jones got hit in the crowd during the Pacers/Pistons brawl. And yes, Fred’s career was never the same after he got punked like that.
  5. A player got hurt playing peacemaker. I am not making this up. Here’s the kicker…a player hurt her knee playing peacemaker. I’m 1000% sure there is a joke to be made about women’s basketball players and their knees but I’ll keep them all in my head. Trying to stay semi-classy here. Cheryl Ford sprained her right knee trying to hold Pierson back from jumping back into the scuffle. You can see it in slow motion, her knee just buckles. Unbelievable. When has that ever happened

As I sit here slightly delirious and definitely Joker-enhanced…I wonder how this is going to be covered. As of right now it’s the #7 top story on ESPN.com, #3 top story on Fox Sports and nowhere to be seen on SI.com Will it be a blip on the radar screen? Will it be big news? Will people blow it out of proportion? I’m not sure at all. My guess is the fact that Mahorn shoved Leslie is going to give it a little more mileage than thought but I could easily see it getting dismissed. Actually who is going to dismiss a fight where a coach shoves a player and a player hits a coach…especially when it’s man vs. woman. If the sound of Skip Bayless’ voice didn’t instinctively make me vomit I might listen to his thoughts on this one.

What I do know? WNBA…That publicity you’ve been wanting for so long? You’re about to get it. And it’s going to come in the form you absolutely didn’t want. No talk about the big outdoor game, or Candace Parker’s brilliance. Not even a blip about the grace of Sue Bird or skills of Diana Taurasi. It’s going to be about a fight. 12 years and your brief return to the radar will be a negative one. Not to mention that one of your brightest stars was right at the heart of it. And it’s not getting any better…let’s not forget about the whole Becky Hammon playing for Russia in the Olympics. Can’t wait to hear Bubba from Alabama’s All-American thoughts on it. Have fun with that.

(My take on who started it? Pierson. She clearly went for an aggressive box-out, the type where she was clearly trying to send a message to Parker. I mean no one boxes out that hard with 5 seconds when you’re about to lose. Parker was having none of that and tried to throw her down. They both fell. And then Pierson tried to walk over her. I mean come on…that’s the ultimate insult on the court. And then it was on….for about .5 seconds.)