With training camp about two weeks away you had to know I would try and sneak some NBA talk in. Thank goodness I don’t have to talk about Oden in this one. Instead lets talk about some of the teams who had lackluster offseasons.
Miami Heat
I have to start the list with the Heat. Is it amazing to look at this team and wonder just how they won a title two years ago? Maybe that was a little too much but still. They may still have D-Wade and a diminished Shaq but last year proved that can only get them so far. This will more than likely be the first year I don’t shove the “Shaq’s going to surprise people and start killing again’ story down people’s throats. I will say that D-Wade at full strength will make this team much better than last year. It’s too bad they didn’t make any other moves. Last year their biggest weakness was a lack of depth and youth. So of course they go out and sign Anfernee (yes Anferenee, a completely different basketball player than Penny) Hardaway and Smush Parker. Yes, the guy who couldn’t get the job done when handed the job to him in LA is going to do well in Miami. Who is their shooter? If you answered Antoine Walker, please e-mail me your name so I can come find you and clothesline you in front of your loved ones.
Cleveland Cavaliers
Someone tell Cleveland that this isn’t 2006-07. They had a tremendous run to the Finals last year but it was more on the fluke side than anything. I have covered this before but defeating a depleted Washington team and then a three-man New Jersey team and a Detroit team that forgot how to play basketball for a week is having the cards fall on your side. They are not getting that type of draw ever again in their lives. Plus the East got better. Right now I would put Detroit, Toronto, Chicago and Boston all ahead of Cleveland. Why you might ask? Because the Cavs made the idiotic decision to stand pat. They are bringing back the exact same team. Allow me to repeat…they are bringing back the exact same team. LeBron will have no shooters, no big men and absolutely no help. They’ll still have a defensive coach who makes poor decisions. And they still have no bench. This is the one team that desperately needed to add something. Some offensive firepower, a shooter..anything.
(Unless LeBron pulls a miracle and makes a double quantum leap into MJ’s stratosphere. Yeah that ain’t happening.)
Orlando Magic
Don’t think I was letting them get away with anything for one second. I’ve gone way to in-depth about the inept signing of Rashard Lewis to the point where I found a way to make jokes about it on a daily basis. I mean how else can you explain giving max money to a player who doesn’t even fit your needs? Rashard will render Hedo Turkoglu practically ineffective. They still have Jameer Nelson and Carlos “I Can’t Even Play Good For Puerto Rico” Arroyo running the show. And they have no big men. Seriously they can only throw it to Dwight in the post and hope to score. Marcin Gortat, James Augustine, Tony Battie and Adonal Foyle are not going to get the job done. They needed to get a post player and a shooter. They did neither.
Indiana Pacers
Solely based on the fact that a bad team did nothing to get better. Their best player is disgruntled and he is surrounded by a lot of question marks and a new coach. It could turn out to be a good move that they didn’t follow the logic of the East aka “We’re ONE MOVE AWAY!”. Then again their season could be over in January when Jermaine demands a trade and Jamaal Tinsley’s hamstrings fall off his body.
Los Angeles Clippers/Portland Trailblazers
Injuries suck. Did everyone forget Elton Brand tore his Achilles and the entire Clipper Nation saw their playoff hopes die? I think so. I mean the good signings of Ruben Patterson and Brevin Knight meant nothing after Brand went down. And we all already know about Oden.